It’s these times when I’m just stuck in the middle and being tugged and not sure which way I’m being tugged more. I think (and hope) it’s just going to be this one time in my life where it’s going to be this kind of choice.

I went to Grove City College this weekend. It was awesome. Not quite as awesome as visiting Gordon College because I met so many people there, but I will revisit that because I also met up with friends at GCC that I would never have otherwise. It was a senior crimson day – where seniors come and learn more about the college. I had been told that Grove City is full of a ‘bunch of nerds’ and I was willing to face the challenge. But as I look at where I am and where GCC is, I don’t deem myself ready for so. much. work. Or, at least, what I expect it to be. Then again, Gordon College makes all its education majors (I’m set on education) double-major. And to decide my second major! So I’d have to work my tail off either way. And then Grove City here already has these brainiacs studying at the same time. So… I guess I’m thinking aloud in a blog post here.

I went to Gordon in April for their Junior weekend – juniors from all around came to Gordon, and we had an amazing weekend. We, like most people, all friended each other on Facebook after that, and we’ve kept up with each other on the college process (or, rather, who’s going where). So now I have a personal connection with Gordon! And for Grove City, I met some people over the summer who were just great – that being an understatement. Then I found out that they went to GCC, and I was like, “No way, I’m thinking about there!” So then when I went back, I met up with two of them – one of whom couldn’t make it – and had a nice chat. Unfortunately, they’re all seniors!! So they wouldn’t be able to welcome me with open arms were I to be moving into Grove City’s campus. It’s so sad. Of course, they’re all great, and I’m really happy for them that they’re going to be moving on to the next step in their lives… but… that would be an even more personal connection! I don’t have such a great connection with the ‘outside campus’ of GCC since it’s so rural, but they’ve got a lot of student activities and available things going on… but that still doesn’t make up for a beach 5 minutes away and Quincy Market 45 minutes away. The campus I didn’t make much of a connection with either, but that was probably because I spent such little time there and got blisters from walking around in fancy new shoes. Overnight would’ve solved some of those problems…

Slight problem. I have bad grades. No, I was never lax on myself or let myself get lazy. Though I am a procrastinator and get lazy, I have never let my grades slip beyond the point of recovery like they have. When a GPA of 2.89 falls in front of your face, you know you’ve got a problem in your hands. See, ever since I was in seventh grade, I have had nocturnal seizures. Nobody likes seizures. People make fun of them; I know it. I don’t condemn it, but it’s one of those things, like OCD. I don’t think anybody has thought seizures could affect your schoolwork – I never thought of it when I first had them – but they did, and it got the worst of me in my sophomore year. High school is not the time when you want to slip up. And for any high schoolers reading this, don’t think that life is a party and school is just a thing tagged along – even when you’re a freshman or sophomore. Being ‘academically rigorous’ isn’t just for juniors. So keep at it! But anyways. In some ways, I had a learning disability. I failed algebra 1 and came extremely close to failing chemistry. Life was rough, and seizures were frequent. I learned Booker T. Washington’s quote, though: “I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.” That inspired me some. My parents were always there, and I was very blessed with a well-off family to provide tutors and help. Although I did fall – and fall hard at that – I found a way up. I never actually found at a rock-bottom spot; I found myself just looking around and wishing that I was better. And maybe that was what I needed to get through, because I had to get up eventually, right?

Now that I’m looking at colleges, I’ve got slim pickings. I talked to my counselor a couple weeks ago, and he even told me that I should apply to a real safety school in case I didn’t get into any of the ones that I wanted, since I had such poor grades. He even told me about one kid that he had that didn’t get into any college because he didn’t apply to a safety school. But I think that his situation doesn’t apply to mine. I know that my plan has already been set in stone from day one, and a school full of kids who never did well and don’t plan on it either isn’t in my future. I could be wrong, but I really do not see that for me. Now, I see myself rising. Rising out of that thing that I had in eighth, ninth, and tenth grades. I know that I want to change a lot of things in the education field… and as I write that, I’m coming to the realization that it will probably take more work that I think. But I think that I have been rising ever since my junior year and will continue to rise in my senior year. Of course, until December 15th, when Grove City’s early decision deadline or whenever the date may be, I will be wondering and praying and hoping. There are some Bible verses I’ve found some hope in: Phillipians 4:6-7 and Psalm 73:23-28. They really are great. (Type them into Google if you don’t have a Bible on hand!) I really do believe we all have a glorious destiny. As for me, I’ve been rising, and will rise, to that glorious destiny. I’ve read reviews that both Gordon and GCC are both challenging schools, but I with hope and God, I can rise to that challenge. See quote below. Our greatest glory is when we fall – and pick ourselves up every time afterwards. And that’s even greater glory!! That is the type I see myself doing, even if GCC and Gordon will see that, I see myself.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” -Confucius


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