Faults in our Stars


They say our stars fell into place as soon as we were born. We had a plan from day one – and our stars can tell us the exact way that things will be. Everything happens for a reason, and we’ll figure it out. But what if one day, you look up at the sky and say, “this was definitely not how it was meant to be.”

I want to be a teacher. Teachers, to me, are a light in the world. They have the opportunity to shape children or young adults in the way they should go, and honestly, I can’t think of many better professions. Actually, I can’t think of a better profession for myself. If you read some of my first posts (and the ones categorized in China), you can kind of tell that there’s something a little off there. I recognize that. I really love children, and I fell in love at New Day. Babies poop and cry; toddlers cry and beg, but I just love them anyways. Their cuteness trumps any of the annoying stuff they carry with them. It was hard for me to choose exactly what age, but I decided on the very young school-age: 4 – 5 year-olds. Gotta love ’em – no, can’t help but love them.

I go on missions trips. I posted twice about going to Philadelphia, and I was told several times that you couldn’t get a decent education unless you enrolled in a private school. I was, in a way, shocked. Nobody should have to go to a private school. And with the poverty I saw around me, there were going to be a ton of kids in a terrible public school system. I also went to New Orleans – that place touched me. Though it was two years ago, I remember several of the people there, and the poverty there stuck. It came back into my mind as I Philadelphia’s poverty clashed with their school systems. I had to do something. I’m going to be a teacher, right?

I’m applying to college. Luckily for me (and as you’ve probably figured out already), I’ve already figured out my major: early childhood education. I’ve got it all lined up – my plan to change the world: I get my bachelor’s, and teach for a while. I go to urban areas and teach there, and try to reform schools. (This is the fuzzy part in my plan…) When I feel the time is ripe, I go to grad school (maybe, maybe not), and become a higher-up teacher who can make some real changes – if I haven’t made any already as a regular teacher.

I’m having some trouble. If you read my previous posts, my grades dropped – and they dropped low. To the point where my junior year’s grades (much better) couldn’t make up for the two years I had missed. I’m going to spill the beans here: I currently have a 2.8 GPA. If any of you know the high school academics game/college process, you know that below a 3.3 is reason to raise eyebrows. And below a 3.0, that is reason to be alarmed. And I have all these plans… I don’t know exactly what happened, but my stars have seemed to have a little jam session while I was talking with my counselor about my transcript. My counselor actually told me that my ‘safety school’ had a too-high GPA for me, and I should start looking into some other schools. I still want to be a teacher.

Now I have to decide between one college and another. And not just decide “Which one am I going to, because I’ve been accepted to both?”, but “Which can I apply to so that I can get the best shot at the one that I want the most?” Yeah, well, I don’t know which one I want most, and you can’t apply early decision to all schools, and only one of them has early action. I’ve decided on some “alone time”, not only because I think that it’s the best way to make huge decisions such as this, but also because that a couple hours at Panera (across the way from Starbucks) would be lovely on the day of no-PSAT’s (thank goodness for being a senior, right?)

I know that my ‘stars’ got messy on me. And I know that it seems impossible – yes, impossible! – to get into a school where the average GPA is 3.7 and to keep working your tail off for the next for years at “where your best isn’t good enough since 1876”. But I can still try, right? Gordon College – 3.6. Yeah, it’s tough. I think – and would like to try my hand at trying some. I’d like to tell them that my stars & past aren’t who I am, it’s the me that’s applying.

“I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is improbably based towards consciousness, that it required intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed.” -John Greene, The Faults in Our Stars

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One thought on “Faults in our Stars

  1. Emma

    The book “The Faults in Our Stars” is really awesome, you’d like it! This is great too:)

    Reply

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