Faults in our Stars

They say our stars fell into place as soon as we were born. We had a plan from day one – and our stars can tell us the exact way that things will be. Everything happens for a reason, and we’ll figure it out. But what if one day, you look up at the sky and say, “this was definitely not how it was meant to be.”

I want to be a teacher. Teachers, to me, are a light in the world. They have the opportunity to shape children or young adults in the way they should go, and honestly, I can’t think of many better professions. Actually, I can’t think of a better profession for myself. If you read some of my first posts (and the ones categorized in China), you can kind of tell that there’s something a little off there. I recognize that. I really love children, and I fell in love at New Day. Babies poop and cry; toddlers cry and beg, but I just love them anyways. Their cuteness trumps any of the annoying stuff they carry with them. It was hard for me to choose exactly what age, but I decided on the very young school-age: 4 – 5 year-olds. Gotta love ’em – no, can’t help but love them.

I go on missions trips. I posted twice about going to Philadelphia, and I was told several times that you couldn’t get a decent education unless you enrolled in a private school. I was, in a way, shocked. Nobody should have to go to a private school. And with the poverty I saw around me, there were going to be a ton of kids in a terrible public school system. I also went to New Orleans – that place touched me. Though it was two years ago, I remember several of the people there, and the poverty there stuck. It came back into my mind as I Philadelphia’s poverty clashed with their school systems. I had to do something. I’m going to be a teacher, right?

I’m applying to college. Luckily for me (and as you’ve probably figured out already), I’ve already figured out my major: early childhood education. I’ve got it all lined up – my plan to change the world: I get my bachelor’s, and teach for a while. I go to urban areas and teach there, and try to reform schools. (This is the fuzzy part in my plan…) When I feel the time is ripe, I go to grad school (maybe, maybe not), and become a higher-up teacher who can make some real changes – if I haven’t made any already as a regular teacher.

I’m having some trouble. If you read my previous posts, my grades dropped – and they dropped low. To the point where my junior year’s grades (much better) couldn’t make up for the two years I had missed. I’m going to spill the beans here: I currently have a 2.8 GPA. If any of you know the high school academics game/college process, you know that below a 3.3 is reason to raise eyebrows. And below a 3.0, that is reason to be alarmed. And I have all these plans… I don’t know exactly what happened, but my stars have seemed to have a little jam session while I was talking with my counselor about my transcript. My counselor actually told me that my ‘safety school’ had a too-high GPA for me, and I should start looking into some other schools. I still want to be a teacher.

Now I have to decide between one college and another. And not just decide “Which one am I going to, because I’ve been accepted to both?”, but “Which can I apply to so that I can get the best shot at the one that I want the most?” Yeah, well, I don’t know which one I want most, and you can’t apply early decision to all schools, and only one of them has early action. I’ve decided on some “alone time”, not only because I think that it’s the best way to make huge decisions such as this, but also because that a couple hours at Panera (across the way from Starbucks) would be lovely on the day of no-PSAT’s (thank goodness for being a senior, right?)

I know that my ‘stars’ got messy on me. And I know that it seems impossible – yes, impossible! – to get into a school where the average GPA is 3.7 and to keep working your tail off for the next for years at “where your best isn’t good enough since 1876”. But I can still try, right? Gordon College – 3.6. Yeah, it’s tough. I think – and would like to try my hand at trying some. I’d like to tell them that my stars & past aren’t who I am, it’s the me that’s applying.

“I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is improbably based towards consciousness, that it required intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed.” -John Greene, The Faults in Our Stars


One thought on “Faults in our Stars

  1. Emma

    The book “The Faults in Our Stars” is really awesome, you’d like it! This is great too:)


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