I wish I could say something inspirational. Something that’s ‘freshly-pressed’ worthy, something that I can just write and the masses adore. But too often, that’s just not how it works, right? I used to write (my first couple posts – at the very, very beginning) deep, deep stuff. And that was popular. But, alas, life took over this blog. I wish I could spend more time here. Listening to Frank Sinatra/Michael Buble Spotify radio, drinking Sleepytime tea, maybe with a biscotti, maybe even with a good hour or two to read my Pride and Prejudice. But summer ended, along with the time to write (or rather, type). But I have this one Sunday, so I’ll make the most of it. These things, among others, are the things that get to me. In no particular order:
#1 People. I love people. I still haven’t figured out if I’m an introvert or an extrovert – I love being with people, but I still need my alone time. I’ve never been the life of the party, but I do love parties! At the same time, I need quiet time every now and then. But people, oh people, how you get on my nerves. My good friends are ever-so-dear and near to my heart. But there are so many other things that drive me crazy about people. For example, I can’t decide on a pet peeve – I just have so many! My family is a good explanation of this: my three younger brothers have recently gotten hooked on celery, arguably the loudest food on the planet. And they eat it – all. the. time. I have to work downstairs, listening to them chomp on celery – and all their other foods, because it’s like they have no control over their mouths. And that’s not including sniffling, random bad singing, etc. etc. But that kind of annoyance, though a huge nuisance, I can deal with. The things that really bother me come from the outside: my prime examples come in two forms: chorus and Chinese. I love singing – unfortunately, I’m not as good as I’d like to be. In school, I’m in chorus – but I joined my junior year. I made the huge mistake of joining yearbook, and that’s my biggest high school regret by far. Chorus is fun with the right people, but there are some things in there that’s kind of like an inside joke that’s only revealed to you when you’re in chorus for <2 years. And then Chinese – oh Chinese, I could tweet #thestruggle for every assignment. I’m in Chinese 4, but there are some kids that know Chinese like the back of their hand (they are Chinese, naturally), and get all A’s, every time, without studying much at all. There’s one girl in my class who almost never does her homework, but has an A-, and yet at the same time, I work my butt off to get the homework done every night, but I have a D+. It’s true that I should study more for the quizzes – and I am by no means using this as an excuse – but it seems like it’s unfair to take a class that’s elementary for so many.
#2 Parents. Yuppers, they had to come up sometime. I’m not saying I don’t love them, but recently, I’ve often found myself not liking them. Mom yells at me for “not working hard in Chinese”, and dad is the kind who presses you to the point of annoyance: “Margaret, work hard at ___” My dad is a little better, though he does have his times of way-too-seriousness. I just have to remember to cry silent tears in the car, and remember that it’s God and my stuffed animals who’s always got my back, even if my parents aren’t always supportive of my current efforts.
#3 Natures. No, not the nature like outside trees. Nature, as in human nature. It drives me crazy. We are born to be wonderful, perfectly with God, and yet, we have broken off because of our human natures. It’s frustrating, really, knowing that in this life we’ll never be in complete harmony. People do horrible things, annoying things, evil things, for an inexplicable reason – but it can almost always be traced back to our human nature.
But we can take comfort in a couple things: We have our moments of harmony – those times when everything seems to be going right, few times they may be, they just make us remember that there is something perfect out there, eventually. We also know that we will mess up, every single day. We can also remember those little moments in our day when we see God – when you get that parking spot that you just rolled up to, when you’re driving and you see the prettiest sky, ever, or when you get the nicest smile from someone. But the greatest miracle of all is that we have a God who wants us so badly that he scoops us up every single time – no matter how far we’ve fallen, he will always be there, picking us up, ready to bring us back. God doesn’t promise an easy life, but he promises a beautiful eternity with him. Which puts all those things – among other things – aside, because I couldn’t think of anything better.
“He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. And all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, and I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me.” -David Crowder Band, How He Loves