Tag Archives: Epilepsy

Five Years?!

July 11, 2011.

I can’t remember what I was doing that day – but according to WordPress, I posted an ‘about me’ on this page. AKA I started “ceaseless serendipity” (first known as ‘Girl Meets World’), five whole years ago!

Wow… what was I doing five years ago? So much has happened. Five years ago, I was in high school. I was having a… rough patch. High school wasn’t easy, and to be honest, I was mostly doing things on my own. I still consider myself to be fairly independent, but now I have the most amazing friends, and I’m graduating from college in a few months. 2016 must have seemed so far away. Who would’ve thought I would be here now, right?

As an education major, I feel like I am obligated to do a then vs. now Venn Diagram. So here it is: What my life was like five years ago (the then) and today (the now).



Two and a half years ago (a half-way marker), I was enjoying college and life in general: I was just beginning a summer internship at an orphanage in China, enjoying life, and about to begin my sophomore year in college – my personal favorite year, in my opinion. Now, I am thankful to be able to still enjoy the same college with many of the same friends I made freshman year. A lot has changed, but some things remain the same!

In my Venn Diagram, I forgot to include epilepsy (my seizures) – but I’ll leave that for another time. However, I’ll try to get a post in before the end of the month – November is epilepsy awareness month! woot woot! Another honorable mention: I’m teaching, for real! No, I don’t have my own classroom, but I am in schools, teaching kindergarteners. Now THAT is awesome! Also I’m still incredibly awkward.

Not everything that happens in life is awesome and worth having a party or blog post about. I get that – things like that have happened to me. For me, I process things by journaling: seeing them on paper (or a computer screen) makes craziness in life not that crazy, because they’re sitting on paper and not circling in my head. There are many of ways to process things that work much better for others, but that’s what’s good for me. I wonder about the readers of this blog – YOU! I know I don’t have a lot of readers, but I know a lot happens in your life. It’s not just me that is awkward and indecisive …right? In the grand scheme of things, five years isn’t that long. But it’s not all about me here – I’m sure a good amount of things happened in five years for you, too! I would love to hear about them in the comment section 🙂 Anyways: if the going is tough for you right now, know that sometimes you just have to wait it out… for a long time. Like, a REALLY long time – it might be more than five years. Read: good times are a’comin. 🙂



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So, what’s been going on in Margaret’s life? Well, glad you asked.

I’m still going strong with The Office. (Jim and Pam all the way!)

I don’t have a ‘home church’ yet – I’m still ‘church-hopping’: going from church to church on Sundays, seeing which one I like best. It’s hard to chose because there are things that I like and things that I don’t like about each church, and sometimes the things I don’t like outweigh the things I do. I’ll end up at a good one, though!

I need to do laundry, a lot more often. I could probably be doing laundry now, matter of fact. I have some really dirty clothes that I need to wash! But why would I want to do laundry when I have the option of blogging at watching The Office? Priorities… sometimes they need a little straightening. But sometimes, they’re alright.

One big (well, one big and one mini) change I’ve made is my conversion to the Paleo diet (at least, for the next month). Basically the Paleo diet cuts out everything that had to get processed to get to you. This includes all rye, wheat and barley: gluten-y bread, pasta, cereal, and so on – which also cuts out a good deal of carbs. So no grains or processed foods. But! What I appreciate is that you eat whenever you’re hungry (as in, you’re not counting calories or other things), and you can eat whatever meat you want (so long as it isn’t dripping in syrup). You eat when you’re hungry, until you’re full. A simple, but good rule to live by. This link explains it a lot more in-depth.

I made a previous post about my seizures. And, as it turns out, I had one the other day. Sometimes it takes hard times to find out how much people care about you. My roommate and RA, for example. My roommate is seriously the best. She stayed up with me, called the GoPo (Gordon Police, some of whom are trained EMTs) when she felt the time was right, and took care of me in all the ways that she could. My RA, too. She wiped the blood off my face, bought me orange juice, copied her math notes for me, wrote my Bible verses. I love the people in my life, and I couldn’t be more thankful for them. For the headache I had the next day, people were totally understanding and a lot of people asked if they could do anything for me. Did I mention I love my friends? Not only that, but the day following my seizure, I took my Chinese language placement exam. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do on it, because my head hurt and I was tired and ready to not take an exam. But I did anyways… and passed! All the levels. Thank you Jesus!

My classes are doing well in general. Friday, I didn’t have a lot of work to do, but by the end of Friday, I have more than enough to work my tail off. My one class on Tuesday was cancelled. Instead of meeting in person, we had a whole-class group discussion online, where we posted our projects and commented on each one. Trying to find that article was stressful, and making sure it posted and followed up right even more so, but it ended up okay. Things usually have this way of ending up okay.


New England autumn is one of the best things ever!

53. Roommate relationships

54. Dinner dates

55. My RA

56. Pillow talk

I typed this up and meant to publish it about a week ago. For some reason that didn’t happen… maybe I was waiting for a creative title to strike me. Well, better late than never!

I run because…

I’ve tried running/being a runner for a long time. Long story short, it never ended up working out. Let’s just say I’ve never enjoyed running, and running just isn’t my thing. Even at this point in my ‘running career’, I would not consider myself as a runner.Just think about it: you are running, from point A to point B, and for what? Best case scenario, you end up at a finish line. But usually, you end up exactly where you started – home, and when on a treadmill, you don’t even move! And nothing happens, except you travel a distance and have to take a shower (as opposed to sports, where you win/lose, or dance, or just about anything else.). So for a long time, it’s confused me on why it’s so popular and how you can possibly be ‘addicted to running’.
I’ve tried finding lots of different types of exercise. (I’m working on a LoveRunningpost coming soon about a little bit of that history.) It has to be fun, energetic, the people have to be nice, and there should be cool music too. Most sports had too much commitment, and things like running or just ‘going to the gym’ had no accountability or routine. I found Zumba, which was terrific, but then I went to college. They have Zumba, but who wants to pay for anything? So, after a lot of experimenting, I figured running just a tiny bit wouldn’t be so bad, so I tagged a 10-minute indoor run on to my workouts at the gym. By the end of the year, I could run about 10 minutes continuously – a little more than a mile, if I wanted to.
Then, I was talking with my friend Emma. Just the term ‘runner’ has such a cool and athletic connotation with it (at least, to me). We both expressed the desire to do a 5K sometime later this year. And then what? We decided we’d train up and do one this fall. It’s doable – a 5K is 3.1 miles long, and I can run a little more than 2 miles at present. So if I keep running and training through the summer, by mid-October, I should be golden. Right? Mmm… kinda. I still didn’t have a why. I need a firm, unyielding why to do something I dislike.

Purple… is a color I never particularly liked. There was a girl who went to my elementary and middle school who was obsessed with purple. It was on every outfit she wore, and when I visited her house, all over her room. Everything was purple. To me, though, it’s not really my thing. Until I found that the color for epilepsy awareness is purple. You know – how pink is for breast cancer and stuff? Purple is for epilepsy. So when I run a 5k this fall, I’ll be wearing purple and I’ll be running for epilepsy. (Though I still have to buy a purple shirt – as of now, I still don’t own one!)



And then I started like to run. Well, not really. I still only like the feeling after I run. While I run, I can feel anything from a heat stroke to legs about to fall out to an adrenaline rush to utter and complete and utter exhaustion I just need to stop a moment thanks to self-consciousness from the haters. So while I miss it when I haven’t run for a while (that due to the fact I can’t find a more regular easy athletic activity to do), sometimes I just run to get home.

It’s funny, though. The more I run, the less I run for myself. I’m not on a team, and my only accountability is the 5K. But the more fit I feel, the ‘easier’ it gets (if you can say that), the less is in it for me. It’s funny though. I started out running mostly because I would feel super out of shape and this would make me feel a little better. Now, I feel better about myself – but now, there is more in it for causes my own goal of feeling and looking better. Of course, I can’t lie, it’s true: I do run to get home sometimes. Once I’ve gotten out the door, I might as well finish, right? And you’re only going to get that post-run feeling if you actually do the run. But sometimes, I run for more than that. I run for epilepsy.


To You: It’s Probably Not That

Dear You,

Today, I’d like to write to you about something that’s very close to my heart: epilepsy. A good online definition I have found for it is as follows:

Epilepsy (or seizures): a neurological disorder marked by sudden recurrent episodes of sensory disturbance, loss of consciousness, or convulsions, associated with abnormal electrical activity in the brain.

EpilepsyAwarenessAs someone who has been diagnosed with a type of epilepsy for several years now, I can tell you that seizures are not easy to live with, and they affect much more than those moments of abnormal electrical activity. They affect so much more than those moments, in fact, that it is impossible to joke for a moment without having some offense taken. Let me explain.

Recently, I have heard people like you toss around phrases like, “You looked like you were having a seizure”, or “I was over here, literally having a seizure” – in a joking way, which I can understand: we all joke around. But those people do not understand or relate to me in a way that is vital to who I am and what seizures are: When you joke like that, it’s offensive. The fact that you’re not actually having a seizure, and yet you’re joking about having one, is not just insensitive, but offensive as well. You see, you have the luxury of joking. You don’t have to deal with the reality of the term. So whenever you do make jokes, it stays with people like me. I remember when you say those things. It’s not that I hold a grudge against you, it’s just very hard for me to shake the fact that one of my friends didn’t have the sensitivity to understand a chronic condition – specifically, my chronic condition. It’s like using the r-word with people with disabilities, except you can’t conduct campaigns to eliminate the word ‘seizure’, because that’s exactly what you have. You see what I’m getting at?

So, I’d like to offer an alternative. Whenever you want to joke with your friends (including me!), treat epilepsy as you would any other chronic condition: don’t joke about it. If you did, I probably wouldn’t want to start talking about it then and there. But if you have questions, I would be more than happy to answer them. Comment here (I’ve put a contact form in below), email me (my email is in the ‘about’ section), Facebook message me (if you’re my Facebook friend)… whatever. But if you’re looking to understand more about epilepsy in general, please visit this link. (Go to the ‘Learn’ tab, find anything you’d want to know there!) Or, watch this video – it’s longer than the first aid one below, but it gives a quick run-down of what epilepsy is, the kinds of epilepsy there are, and additional first aid. Also: in learning about epilepsy, I have found that they are a lot more common than people think. I love my roommates, but they had no idea what to do when I was having a seizure – and that ended up costing me several hundred dollars in a trip to the ER. Therefore, try to be prepared in case you should ever encounter someone having a seizure. You really never know. Because you won’t, please don’t joke like you do.

Thank you for your time. I really do appreciate it.

With gratitude,